The Aristocrats

2012-01-29T18:38:00.001-08:00

surprise surprise surprise
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rich media people would prefer that
rich media people not pay more taxes
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they are made rich for a reason
guess what that reason is

2012-01-29T17:21:00.000-08:00

imagine all the filthy things I want you to do to me

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Sandy say dance like nobody's watchin'
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New Rule

Brendan Sullivan

2012-01-28T16:25:00.000-08:00

My old buddy Brendan died about 10 years ago. I don't remember exactly when it was, but it was shortly after the Worldcom scandal. Remember Worldcom? Brendan worked for them briefly before the whole shit hit the fan. He died shortly after leaving Worldcom, suffering an epileptic seizure.

Brendan was a banjo picker, but he played stuff like "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" instead of "Foggy Mountain Breakdown". He drove an old Chevy pick-up (1963?) and painted it with green house paint. Up above is a quick sketch of Freddie's dog Shea in the back of Brendan's truck. I remember one time Freddie and I were visiting Brendan up on Mt. Riga, and he blew out a brake line. His folks were always teasing him about getting rid of the truck anytime something broke, and buying something new, but he just yanked out the worn out part, and put in the new part. If I remember correctly, he had the power steering from a Mercury Montego installed on the truck.

Brendan had quit college after a couple of years, and went to Jamaica to work as a Maintenance Expert at a resort in Runaway Bay. Brendan could fix anything, it's no wonder why he loved his Chevy. I don't remember how long he did that, 2 years? 1 year? He eventually came back and went back to college, graduated. He spent some time working at a hardware store, fixing lawnmowers and other assorted small engines, before the ill fated Worldcom gig.

Mt Riga was quite a time. Massive meteor showers in August of 1991. There was a French family that had driven up the mountain and were camped out in their car down by the dam. Brendan invited them back to the farmhouse. They were visiting family in Montreal, and drove down to Mt Riga because they had read somewhere that Mt Riga would be the best place to view the meteor showers. We set them up with cots and blankets, busted out the wine and beer. The dad was a bit of a George H. W. Bush fan, and after a bit of spirited discussion, he said in his Parisian English "Nothing divides people like politics and religion", and we wisely went back to watching the meteor showers. In the morning, Brendan had phone numbers and addresses for places to stay in Montreal and France, if he ever got out that way.

who's that at the door? oh no, it's the underpants police!

2012-01-28T15:53:00.001-08:00

it's a boring story but Dollar General just fucked with me, so I thought I'd have some fun and fuck back ...

2012-01-28T15:01:00.000-08:00

at a very active Dollar General complaint site in the name Sally Kellstein, I gave Dollar General five stars and left the message below. their stores always have trash around them, the number at the site is for Dollar General corporate offices, let the fun begin:

"I contacted Dollar General to complain about the trash that is often around their store in my neighborhood. gives the area a rundown appearance and does not look nice at all. not only was the problem fixed within a few days, but Dollar General sent me a lovely apology and a $100 coupon to use in any of their stores. they are tops with this home-schooling Mom."
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here's another 5 star* review from Amy: "Employees at the dollar general behind the bank in grayson kentucky have sex in their cars in the parking lot"
*must have been very good sex, one wonders if Amy was a spectator or a participant. is she complaining or bragging?

2012-01-28T11:27:00.001-08:00

here

Hey, quiet down, everyone just shut up, OK...

2012-01-28T10:42:00.000-08:00

...Woody has The Conch.

from ecstasy to despair in seven minutes

2012-01-28T08:54:00.000-08:00

Nellie and Goofy love beef flavored rawhide bones. with Nellie it goes beyond love, I never see her quite so happy, she does the whole body wag. but because Nellie Eats Everything about three times faster than Goofy, after her seven minutes of ecstasy she must endure double that of the despair of seeing Goofy still enjoying his. she keeps both eyes on his treat just in case it might fly out of his paws to where she can steal it(has never happened). she knows better than to get very close, Goof may be slow, but he takes the treats very seriously, has a special growl for those occasions when Nellie encroaches on his widened territorial limit.
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.fun fun fun

TiT RePost, because I'm lazy, because I was cleaning up my desktop and was reminded how much I dig this one. diggity dig funny happy sexy nudity ...

2012-01-28T08:27:00.000-08:00

with a wink included

Bunker Mentality

2012-01-27T11:07:00.000-08:00

Mista, we could use a man like Hoybit Hoovah, agayn.

People don't pick you up on the Hoover Highway, on the Hoover Highway, you travel alone.

2012-01-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

atheists and Christians alike should not worry so much about Sharia law and worry a little bit more about Mormon law. Mormons are an aggressive and persistent people. perhaps good at heart but all about recruitment and amassing political power, lotta new rules to follow, new types of underpants to wear. did y'all notice that the Republican Party is on the cusp of anointing a Mormon as their Leader? Mormon Jesus is coming to Missouri, just like Joseph 'The Prophet' Smith said. believing that is the only way to heaven.

making up for the times I was late for Friday TiT blogging. a little fiery irony for your perusal

2012-01-26T19:57:00.000-08:00

honesty time

2012-01-26T19:35:00.000-08:00

I've been saying a Romney win was inevitable for almost a year and it looks like a gold-plated lock now, but I didn't fully share my doubts with y'all about Newt(doubts I articulated to my son who helps to keep me honest, everyone should have such a son). I've thought that Newt had a solid shot twice now, especially this time with the voters of Florida. he's such a perfect fit for the Florida winger voters I've heard talk politics. oh well. ..also my prediction that Sarah the Palin would be a big Mitt supporter never panned out. perhaps Mitt wouldn't meet her price and she decided to team up with her fellow Grifter. whatever, I was dead wrong about that one and wavering behind the scenes on the other. still think TPaw is a lock for VP.

2012-01-26T18:36:00.000-08:00

regarding third party runs
Ron Paul won't but I can totally see Newt doing it
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theological question: were The Founders sent to America by Jesus or God or Ronald Reagan?
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looks like a wrap folks, Newt crapped out: starting tomorrow morning, everything that Mitt Romney is, that's also what conservatism will be

United Sore Losers of America, Unite, or something

2012-01-26T14:58:00.000-08:00

for those Republicans wishing to win the presidential election you need look no further than the recommendation from John 'I picked Palin' McCain, the guy who got stomped by Barack Obama. and now you can also follow the recommendation put forward by Bob 'yelling at clouds' Dole, the guy who got stomped by Bill Clinton. lucky you, it's the same dude, Mittens Romney, endorsed by more losers than any other candidate.
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a Christianist in Mormon underpants
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this is why Romney will lose the general. among other reasons of course, but this is a big one

Greeting the Future in Reverse, a new car introduction by The Conservative Car Co.

2012-01-26T11:56:00.000-08:00

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it's exactly like the Chevy Caprice
except the windshield is replaced by a supersized rearview mirror
can see all the way back to 1950
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this got me wondering how many people drive a Caprice without knowing the meaning of the word. for the answer you'll have to sign up for my online university course: The Incuriosity of Some Folks, Advanced Studies. also if you wish to hear the word 'folks' spoken repeatedly and many times and over and over, listen to a Romney speech. very folksy.
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I do vaguely recall the odd ad campaign for the Caprice: "Yes, we admit this is a bizarre name for a motor vehicle, a piece of machinery that is all about precise control of forces. but whatever, we liked the sound of it and if you're buying this car, the odds are good that you won't know or care what the name means. happy Capriciousness!"

Newt The Plumb Her

2012-01-26T08:48:00.000-08:00

Newt Gingrich is trying to make himself out to be Joe Sexpack, All American Regular Guy. (Hat tip to Tengrain)

I'm guessing that Newt masturbates multiple times a day because he feels so passionately for his Cuntry. JerryB nails it with this comment on this post:

If an open marriage was the deal breaker for wife the second then you know it was required of wife the current. Probably part of the pre-nup.
Here's a fun game. Guess the mistress. Start watching the Newt-Paloozas to see who's standing in the background. Whichever pretty blond bimbo we see consistently at these events has got to be the one. He'll keep her close because you never know when you'll need a quick one and Newt thinks we're all idiots and would never catch on.

2012-01-25T19:21:00.001-08:00

it's semi-occasional Butt Wednesday! hooray!

2012-01-25T13:01:00.000-08:00

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a new proposal can never be made because, why didn't you already do it? and also why don't you and your policies bat 1.000 like all Republicans do always? ah ha, gotcha.
what a doof. dear Chris, biblical scholars will tell you why God created time: "so everything doesn't happen at once"
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the conservative conundrum: caught between a sponge and a jellyfish
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Romneymania Sweeps America
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wow, a Republican family potluck
with plate after plate of self hate
link via @bluegal
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Nancy's got a mouse in her pocket
and that mouse told her all of Gnoot's secrets
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2012-01-25T12:43:00.001-08:00

a transaction, double ka-ching

2012-01-25T12:17:00.000-08:00

in the Beginning there was Brainiac

Newton Leroy Gingrich's Intelligence joined hands with his Smartness and they put on their wise pants one wise leg at a time. Brilliantly they reached back in time and hatched the big clever idea to have a universe.

2012-01-25T11:40:00.000-08:00

after every bout of wrongness from 'he who must always be wrong', Andrew Sullivan looks into the mirror and says "meep meep and gosh all fishhooks, I'm Wile E. Coyote this time". one wonders if he will ever realize: he IS Wile E. Coyote.

2012-01-25T11:23:00.000-08:00

about 2:10 into the Warren interview Jon Stewart makes a perfectly hilarious comment. I'll love him forever for that moment.

2012-01-25T10:33:00.000-08:00

conservatives' all time fave lyric:
"lie to me, I promise I'll believe"

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here's Sheryl

tough job for current Republican presidential candidates, they have such big clown shoes to fill

2012-01-25T10:18:00.000-08:00

day in the life of a conservative wordsmith

2012-01-24T22:19:00.000-08:00

find something a lot of people like
put the word 'conservative' in front of it
do lunch
go golf
do mistress
go home
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don't read
if distraught wingers
make you cry

2012-01-24T19:19:00.000-08:00

um, winning!
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are we sure that Mitt Romney is not also a Democratic plant?
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almost certain Chuck Todd just assured us there will be real chatter regarding Mitch Daniels, if certain things fall into place. real chatter
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Mitch Daniels is too boring to understand, just made a boffo light bulb reference. now back to more thick thick boring ...
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more Daniels fluffing by C. Todd
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replay of Giffords greeting: pity the poor person next in line to Gabby Giffords, a mammoth letdown in greeting quality. no dancing hug.
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funny line at Guardian: "Hey it's Michele Bachmann on Fox News! I'd forgotten she existed."
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tweet of the night

mitrebox @mitrebox

We also killed Bin Laden's Secretary. For fairness.

2012-01-24T17:59:00.000-08:00

going with the 'envy' line eh John Boehner? straight from the manicured mouth of Mitt. that could be a definition of political malpractice: stealing from the Romney campaign.

it's a package deal with Newt, it's buy one get one free

2012-01-24T16:05:00.001-08:00

I'm going to have to bite out my brain for even thinking this but, oh my doG, I agree with Newt. America should be allowed to see and hear the full flower of wingnut audiencehood. turn those crazies up to eleven so their hoots and hollers reach every nook of this great country. and all the crannies also too.
a vote for any Republican is a vote for the Republican posse, the 27 percenters. establishment Republicans(the Mitt Brunch Bunch) are ashamed of most of their voters, want to hide them, NBC went along with it. CNN & FOX not so much and good for them.

Shorter Newt

2012-01-24T10:12:00.000-08:00

I'm into Cheerleaders.

2012-01-24T10:03:00.000-08:00

more Paula Deen

Victory and Victimhood, the ONLY faces of Republicanism

2012-01-24T09:26:00.000-08:00

2012-01-23T17:42:00.000-08:00

good blog at Economist

2012-01-23T17:04:00.000-08:00

here

another 'quaking in his loafers' shot

2012-01-23T12:02:00.000-08:00

check out the double weasel ending of the first one here. "With Newt Gingrich as the nominee of the party, that is, perhaps, all up in the air." not just perhaps, not just up in the air, but perhaps up in the air. ..he be a sloppy, ass-covering writer. for sure and to a vanishment of all doubt.
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this is fun

'but but but, I was next in line' sayeth damp-eyed Mitt

2012-01-23T10:06:00.000-08:00

something readable at The Corner
water becomes unwet, fish turn into pie

Gazing forward in time 2014. a Gingrich White House ...

2012-01-22T17:55:00.000-08:00

when conservative pundits assure us
blowjobs in the Oval Office
are a sign of presidential manliness

2012-01-22T17:25:00.000-08:00

the Big bluster is often used to hide the Big doubt. such is the case with the ridiculous 'we've got this election(general) in the bag' that we've heard at the Republican debates. and dancing around that idea are two groups who tend to support Gingrich. one group, the people who buy the bluster, see the primaries as the end game and want the biggest baddest wildest change-doer they can manage to select, to do the cakewalk against Obama. the opposite group, those whose big doubts have increased to a near certainty. they know they're gonna lose, so they want to lose with someone willing to fight dirty and insult the Kenyan Usurper(that one).

Newt loves marriage so much he wants to do it to as many women as possible

2012-01-22T13:06:00.001-08:00

and if you believe Mister G hasn't strayed from the marital bed, 'Callista edition', I have some worthless stuff that I'll sell you for a lot of money. Newt's had a goodly long stretch of not getting publicly caught, I'll give him that much. his dick has learned some discretion. also helping to combat the impulse for strange pussy; Callista, the lovely clam-headed wife, has not been stricken by a lingering life-threatening disease. that's a big plus in a wife. cancer and MS have been known to be deal-breakers.

winger comment re: Gnoot's win in SC

2012-01-22T12:45:00.000-08:00

"If the margin in SC is substantial, the White House will be quaking in their loafers."
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yup, winger be so right. here's a short clip of the quaking, you'll have to imagine the loafers.

does anyone older than twelve ever give this country/party love crap an ounce of credibility?

2012-01-22T11:06:00.000-08:00

But, if Romney called him to talk about Christie being on the ticket with him, “I love my country enough and my I love my party enough to listen.”

2012-01-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

when 'I don't know what this means'

is a feature not a bug

The Straight Cock Express Rides Again

2012-01-22T06:19:00.001-08:00

Back in April of 2007, 8 months or so before the Iowa Caucus, John McCain was way down in the polls, his campaign seemingly in disarray. I enjoyed giving him the Straight Story treatment, but, despite being way down in the polls, he had that smug asshole attitude that he would be the nominee, almost as if he knew the fix was in.

Newt Gingrich has that same smug asshole attitude.

Fun Fact!--Michele Bachmann's campaign bus was once John McCain's Straight Talk Express.

With apologies to Henry Miller, Anais Nin, and Jim Morrison.

Comix, comics, comixx, comic strips, editorial cartoons, cartoons, comic books, underground comix, satire, parody, Republicans, political cartoons, John Poindexter, Ollie North, G. Gordon Liddy, John Bolton, Ronald Reagan, Sarh Palin, Joe Lieberman

Zencomix

Huckabee: This Election Is Like A Box Of Salted Dicks, you always know you're gonna get a salted dick

2012-01-21T16:37:00.000-08:00

conservative Christianists do not care if anyone does the values, so long as everyone sez the values. except for the homo stuff, up with that they will not put, saying or (getting caught)doing.
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dear republican wackjobs, I am loathe to help you but I must say this: positioning yourselves on the side of Mitt's non-release of tax returns is the wrong road dudes. I know y'all are blinded by hate of everyone that is not Y. O. U. so I will do you this favor, it's the wrong road and everyone knows it but you.

are two layers of plastic between us and our food enough?

2012-01-21T09:28:00.000-08:00

NO!
says the U.S. packaging industry
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Kitchen Supplies Recommended For Packaging Removal Purposes
heavy shears and slip jaw pliers, hammers, tongs
screwdrivers, a vice, an anvil, a propane torch
and a chainsaw

2012-01-21T08:51:00.000-08:00

breaking: Republicans say today exactly what Mister Underpants said on Thursday morning
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looks like Gnoot is going to take South Carolina. next up is Florida and I ask you, How could the collection of easily manipulated 'conservatives' who elected Rick Scott as governor not give their primary to Gingrich as well and also too? let the rational(ha ha)izations begin. Gnoot never did those awful bad things, plus God has forgiven him for those he might have done because of too much love for America.

good products/stores thread

2012-01-21T07:06:00.000-08:00

1. Kroger has a party tray packed with delicious sushi, 25 of them, for $10.99. had sushi for supper, had sushi for breakfast, haven't got the tray even half finished. also good buck a bag tortilla chips, good low carb yogurt, decent flowers and lots more. have returned a few items over the years with no problem at all. good store.
2. Dick's Sporting Goods. all around great store. good prices, good personnel, good products, easy returns.
3. illuminated jeweler's loupe online for $3-$8(price diff is mostly case quality). you will see plenty of comments in user reviews like "not 30x as advertised". bottom line: who gives a shit. it makes small things very much bigger and is a useful tool for cheap.
4. Swanson's supplements online, low prices, good products, high efficiency, no mistakes.
5. Wal-Mart Vision Center Wauseon Ohio. this one is specific because a lot of the satisfaction has to do with the eye doctor at the store. we have a very good one. also low prices.
6. and a shout out to Wal-Mart dot com, where I've never done business. they identified and working with my bank, reversed, two large fraudulent charges on my debit card, without any effort by me.
add your faves in comments if you are so inclined

2012-01-20T21:25:00.000-08:00

Krauthammer takes the obligatory stroll around the bash Obama barn, before rolling around in a big smelly pile of truth. the GOP's circular firing squad. and we totally have Newt to thank. I'm saying that former Speaker Gingrich is a Democratic undercover operative. try and prove me wrong.

Mitt Tits

2012-01-20T16:50:00.001-08:00

titties that are so hot, they are indeed
too hot to handle with your bare hands

2012-01-20T16:45:00.001-08:00

the BIG BOMBSHELL in the Gingrich House ethics report:

they confirmed that he doesn't have any

2012-01-20T16:42:00.001-08:00

2012-01-20T16:39:00.001-08:00

Behooves? just who does Cantor think he's talkin' to ...

2012-01-20T15:12:00.000-08:00

the anti-intellectual nutballs in his base hear 'behooves' and the first thought that pops into their tricorned heads is 'fuck youze'

1st Date Unasked Questions:

2012-01-20T07:30:00.000-08:00

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what is that smell?
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how many cats are you currently sleeping with?
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can you give me a decent approximation of how much time I'll have to put in before we get to the part where you're sucking my dick?

bring the funny

2012-01-20T06:37:00.000-08:00

"Newt asked Callista for an open marriage
so he could FUCK ALL 300 MILLION OF US."

three reasons why Rick Perry should run for president again ..right now

2012-01-19T14:34:00.000-08:00

1. it'll be a fresh start
2. the field has narrowed considerably
3. the press will love the spontaneity of it
4. all his mistakes have been forgiven by God
5. can update to a smarter more articulate presentation
6. a lot of the debates are over
7. can market himself as the not Romney, Gingrich, Santorum or Paul candidate
8. can call himself New & Improved Perry with 47% more CHRISTIAN POWER
9. can get loads of Perry for President gear at clearance prices
10. everyone roots for The Underdog
11. everyone loves The Comeback Kid!

Newton Leroy Gingrich never takes a break from being totally full of shit

2012-01-19T13:21:00.000-08:00

"She called a minister they both trusted. He came over to the house the next day and worked with them the whole weekend, but Gingrich just kept saying she was a Jaguar and all he wanted was a Chevrolet. " 'I can't handle a Jaguar right now.' He said that many times. 'All I want is a Chevrolet.' ""
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wonder how the ol' Chevy likes seeing that remark in print?

that's right, the horse goes before the cart

2012-01-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

Mitt Romney isn't embarrassed about being rich because Americans are anti-rich assholes who won't leave him alone about it. Americans love a lot of rich people. the causation goes the other way, Americans are curious about the source and management of his wealth because Mitt Romney is so embarrassed by it. he talks about his moola like a teenager talking about how many beers he may have possibly had and it was probably only um, a couple I'm almost sure, before wrecking, I mean you know geez, not really wrecking, the car isn't wrecked, a lot of that will um, you know, buff right out. plus it wasn't all my fault. .......I'm really really sorry.
..Can you imagine The Donald taking that tone, belittling his bankables? Fuck no. and a lot of people, including me(small doses), get a kick out of his over the top braggadocio. Mittens is on the other end of that 'happy with my cash' continuum. his public relationship with his dough ray me is strange like a loose tooth, so of course America's tongue is checking on that every five minutes, I mean all the time.

Paula Deen Fried for Your Sins

2012-01-19T08:45:00.000-08:00

This one's for you, Sandy!

breaking: Paula Deen dead in plane crash ...

2012-01-18T11:54:00.000-08:00

Paula Deen's estate endorses Cessna and Acme Funeral Homes

2012-01-18T11:10:00.000-08:00

OH. MY. GOD. talking with our enemies!
shouldn't we kill them first?

" ...until I slide out all wet and electable."

2012-01-18T09:49:00.001-08:00

funny and educamational

2012-01-17T18:09:00.000-08:00

when Rick Perry speaks of America's allies, he means white Christian people who wouldn't be caught dead in a towel hat. so you see Turkey doesn't come close to qualifying, no matter what those NATO nitwits say.

2012-01-17T17:52:00.001-08:00

perpetual preemptive shock, Red State author writes a perfectly true sentence, pigs circle LaGuardia

2012-01-17T16:03:00.000-08:00

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"We will be shocked at what is yet to come."
.

2012-01-17T15:45:00.000-08:00

"Whereas liberals lay around in beanbag chairs in between trips to cash their welfare checks at the liquor store which they also rob." -Roy always good for a laugh

in case you were wondering, yes there is a ...

2012-01-17T14:59:00.000-08:00

Sack Blabbath

to top off Perry's string of missteps, brain farts and giggle attacks

2012-01-17T14:47:00.000-08:00

..his dang face is starting to fall off

"I have three things to say about that"

2012-01-17T14:24:00.000-08:00

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." -most of America to Rick Perry
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if Rick Perry had a brain, it would probably be wishing it had never run for president

2012-01-17T13:54:00.001-08:00

from here via Mindi

stray thought

2012-01-17T09:37:00.000-08:00

it's overwhelmingly in the best interests of the Winger Media Rage Machines to lose to Obama, with Romney as their nominee. like four Christmases at once.

Republicans keeping it simple

2012-01-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

Kill Death War, Kill Them

2012-01-16T20:21:00.001-08:00

Romney to go hunting for elk and moose and tax returns
sometime in the spring
maybe

things that should be true

2012-01-16T16:57:00.000-08:00

takes more muscles to frown
than it does to eat pie

2012-01-16T15:07:00.000-08:00

Erick from the holy land of Erick predicts Bristol Palin will be Romney's VP nominee: "If you are reading this from the media, I think the story you should tell is that Mitt Romney will probably become the nominee of the Republican Party with even less good feelings between evangelicals and him than John McCain had." --EE
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lovers of freedom, no disharmony allowed

"Our Common Goal Is To Restore Principled Leadership"

2012-01-16T11:40:00.000-08:00

Huntsman drops out
endorses Republican Jesus
in the body of Willard Romney

a man who's forgotten more principles

than most people will ever have

2012-01-16T09:27:00.000-08:00

there is only one rule in war
dehumanize the enemy
everything else is logistics

the enemy's humanity must be buried so deep
that his existence once
as an innocent baby, an innocent child
will be denied any thought

why not torture them?
why not piss on the dead flesh of our enemies
it's no big deal

they are the terrorists, they are the ragheads
in the war of my youth they were the gooks
they were never like us
laughing and chasing a balloon

Blah Sabbath

2012-01-16T07:49:00.000-08:00

I think the catalyst for The Killers of Dr Martin Luther King, Jr was his Beyond Vietnam Speech. The War Pigs of Corporate America will not tolerate a disruption in the flow of blood money. Here are a couple of links and some excerpts for your consideration. (Hat Tip to BLCKDGRD)

It's not about Ron Paul, it's about you.

I don't know if that grave was one of the few to be opened and explored. Even now the Indonesian government broadly obstructs attempts to investigate the events of the Year. The "conservative estimate"-- that is, the one that won't get you laughed at by Very Reasonable People-- is that 500,000 Indonesians were slaughtered, all under the considerable support of the United States. Some Indonesians I know find that estimate a laughable, inflammatory underestimation, but okay. Render unto Caesar. Half a million people, stuff underground or thrown into the sea. Lined up and shot in the back of the head, or hacked to death with machetes, after having been forced to dig their own graves and those of their families. You've heard it before. You've likely even heard that we supported it in every way conceivable, providing intelligence, arms, and funding to the new junta, including a literal hit list. If I know the average political mind today, many could read about these events with only eye rolls. They don't deny the factual accuracy of the claims. They don't even deny their horror. They just react as if talking about them is something gauche, uncool, boring. Few could deny their truth, at this point; the declassified CIA documentation is, as always, terribly frank. You'd be amazed at how many offer justifications to me. These people were commies, after all...

...When confronting establishment progressives with the reality of our conduct and how much it has cost some of the poorest and most defenseless people on earth, the conversation never stays about our victims; it inevitably changes to those attempting to talk about them, a knee-jerk defense that progressives have made an art form. That's why Ron Paul is so perfect, for establishment liberals. He is an open invitation to change the subject. The United States keeps killing innocent people, keeps propping up horrific regimes, keeps violating international law, keeps trampling on the lives of those who lack the power to defend themselves-- but Ron Paul is a racist, and believes in the gold standard, and opposes abortion, and in general supports some of the most odious domestic policies imaginable. What I insist, and what people like Glenn Greenwald keep insisting, is that Ron Paul's endless failings shouldn't and can't exist as an excuse to look away from the dead bodies that we keep on piling up. What I have wanted is to grab a hold of mainstream progressivism and force it to look the dead in the face. But the effort to avoid exactly that is mighty, and what we have on our hands is an epidemic of not seeing.

Chris Hedges is suing Barack Obama

The act authorizes the military in Title X, Subtitle D, entitled “Counter-Terrorism,” for the first time in more than 200 years, to carry out domestic policing. With this bill, which will take effect March 3, the military can indefinitely detain without trial any U.S. citizen deemed to be a terrorist or an accessory to terrorism. And suspects can be shipped by the military to our offshore penal colony in Guantanamo Bay and kept there until “the end of hostilities.” It is a catastrophic blow to civil liberties...

...But I suspect the real purpose of this bill is to thwart internal, domestic movements that threaten the corporate state. The definition of a terrorist is already so amorphous under the Patriot Act that there are probably a few million Americans who qualify to be investigated if not locked up. Consider the arcane criteria that can make you a suspect in our new military-corporate state. The Department of Justice considers you worth investigating if you are missing a few fingers, if you have weatherproof ammunition, if you own guns or if you have hoarded more than seven days of food in your house. Adding a few of the obstructionist tactics of the Occupy movement to this list would be a seamless process. On the whim of the military, a suspected “terrorist” who also happens to be a U.S. citizen can suffer extraordinary rendition—being kidnapped and then left to rot in one of our black sites “until the end of hostilities.” Since this is an endless war that will be a very long stay....

...The supine and gutless Democratic Party, which would have feigned outrage if George W. Bush had put this into law, appears willing, once again, to grant Obama a pass. But I won’t. What he has done is unforgivable, unconstitutional and exceedingly dangerous. The threat and reach of al-Qaida—which I spent a year covering for The New York Times in Europe and the Middle East—are marginal, despite the attacks of 9/11. The terrorist group poses no existential threat to the nation. It has been so disrupted and broken that it can barely function. Osama bin Laden was gunned down by commandos and his body dumped into the sea. Even the Pentagon says the organization is crippled. So why, a decade after the start of the so-called war on terror, do these draconian measures need to be implemented? Why do U.S. citizens now need to be specifically singled out for military detention and denial of due process when under the 2001 Authorization for Use of Military Force the president can apparently find the legal cover to serve as judge, jury and executioner to assassinate U.S. citizens, as he did in the killing of the cleric Anwar al-Awlaki in Yemen?....

....The oddest part of this legislation is that the FBI, the CIA, the director of national intelligence, the Pentagon and the attorney general didn’t support it. FBI Director Robert Mueller said he feared the bill would actually impede the bureau’s ability to investigate terrorism because it would be harder to win cooperation from suspects held by the military. “The possibility looms that we will lose opportunities to obtain cooperation from the persons in the past that we’ve been fairly successful in gaining,” he told Congress.

But it passed anyway. And I suspect it passed because the corporations, seeing the unrest in the streets, knowing that things are about to get much worse, worrying that the Occupy movement will expand, do not trust the police to protect them. They want to be able to call in the Army. And now they can.

The Little Piggies Said Wee Wee All The Way Home

2012-01-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

Soak a piece of plastic in urine, express outrage!

Soak the bodies of dead humans in urine, shrug your shoulders and say boys will be boys, or don the cheerleader pom poms and give 'em the old Brick-a-brack-a firecracker piss boom bah...

Meanwhile, folks in the media don't seem terribly concerned about the killing of people, it's all about the pissing.

Insert J Geils Band Video Piss on The Wall here.

2012-01-14T18:34:00.000-08:00

Red State, where borderline masochists go for Sat. night entertainment
.
helped a friend take five kids to the Ann Arbor Briarwood mall. what a wonderful place to see all kinds of people, like a dang United Nations lobby it is. the Apple store was packed with good old American weirdness. there must have been thirty blue-shirted employees working the floor. money was being spent. we ended at the kids' play area and it was a beautiful thing to see, all colors and cultures represented, running and jumping and climbing and falling and bouncing off the padded floor. as is usual when I go out into the world I had a pocketful of balloons. they were a huge hit. kids were loving them, many parents coming over to thank me. one little girl somewhere between 2 and 3, without talking, was very specific about how big she wanted her pink balloon(small). using her fingers to direct me letting out air until it was just right. her happy face was beyond words. later, again without saying a word, she came up to me and stuck out her non-balloon holding hand. I gave it a squeeze and a shake but that was not what she wanted so she tried again and then again until I understood that she wanted to lead me somewhere. I go up and with her holding my hand let her take me across the play area, no idea what was going on and a little worried about how it might look to her parents. that's where she was taking me, she wanted to introduce me to her mother and she did, silently and perfectly. her Mom of course had been watching and was full of smiles as was I. I'm such a damn softie my eyes are leaking as I type this. expressions of love and trust among strangers, enabled by children with a little help from balloons.

2012-01-14T08:18:00.000-08:00

because pissing in a river is exactly like pissing on a corpse. and the American right wing loses its last shred of humanity.

By The Power Vested In Me, I Now Pronounce You Man and Vest

2012-01-14T05:21:00.000-08:00

On Monday, January 2, the day before the Iowa Caucus, I wrote a post called Santorum and Delilah, ridiculing Santorum and his brand of Biblical Literalism with the bible story about Samson and Delilah. Today, Tengrain pointed me to this story about Rick Santorum's sweater vests. Annnnd the money shot...

He wore a sweater vest, he explained, to an event in Iowa in which he performed particularly well. That event, he said, was one of the events that turned around his campaign in the Hawkeye State, helping him come in just eight votes behind front-runner Mitt Romney.

People commented on his vest after the event, he said, and "it sort of took a life of its own ... and the vest gave me this power."

I want to see a Celebrity Death Match between Santorum's Sweater Vest and Mitt Romney's Magical Underwear.

2012-01-13T19:13:00.000-08:00

thanks dudes, for teeing up the issue, for forcing the R establishment to give Bain Capital a big ol' teddy bear hug, for giving Obama an undefended shot on goal. we love you Gnoot, we love you Shooting Range Guy.

2012-01-13T17:03:00.000-08:00

Super Republican businesswoman Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer plans to sponsor a state sale of $20 bills for $15.43 each, making up for the losses with volume. "a certain money maker," crows the Republican state congressional leadership. "she's a visionary," trumpets an Arizona Republic editorial. "give me the first $100 million of those," demands Mitt Romney.

must be the Day of Fries, it's the girl with the 'I'll be with you in a minute' eyes

2012-01-13T15:45:00.000-08:00

Mitt Romney & footman in happier times

2012-01-13T14:57:00.000-08:00

happiest time was when Mittens fired him
"Mormon God did that feel good!" said the former Mass. Gov.

does anyone know what day of the week this is? please share.

2012-01-13T14:44:00.000-08:00

baby Hitler info here

everywhere Mitt Romney goes ...

2012-01-13T09:45:00.001-08:00

so go his favorite chair and footman

#1 Republican Job Creator:

2012-01-12T16:35:00.000-08:00

President Abraham Lincoln, CEO of Civil War

Governance Via Shampoo Directions

2012-01-12T08:32:00.001-08:00

The Man
Who Must Be Forgotten
Completely Forgotten
Even The Grin Disappeared

Republicans Must Wash That Man
Right Out Of Their Hair

So The Grand Old Party
Can Do All The Same Old Things
One. More. Time.

The True Eleventh Commandment

Rinse & Repeat

it's Wed Nes Day, Sandy say Re Lax ..let's have a contest, tell the world how relaxed you can get. I was so relaxed I ...

2012-01-11T15:15:00.000-08:00

2012-01-11T15:12:00.000-08:00

TPM funny

2012-01-10T18:08:00.000-08:00

Shakespeare explained
by a person who has never read any:

William 'Bill' Shakespeare was an English playwright (this means he wrote plays and yeah it should be 'playwrite' but it isn't and no one knows why). here are some of the plays he wroght: (also he lived in England a long time ago and is completely dead. some say he lives on in his work, but that's a lie told by people who just can't handle death. trust me he's dead. let's say he was poisoned, just for fun :)

Romeo & Juliet: Bill's most famous, about teenage lovers whose families sucked ass. R & J were always looking for each other because they were majorly horny. spoiler alert: they commit suicide because he bought her combs for her beautiful hair but she had gotten a very short haircut so the combs were no good and he couldn't return them (this was in an age before receipts). back then people committed suicide for little shit like this all the time. little known fact: the real Romeo's father invented peanut butter.

King Lear: title says it all, no need to read it

there's a 'funny' one about drinking a lot of wine, forgot the name: done to death

Julius Caesar: about a guy named Julius who was a lot like a King only they called him 'Caesar' and put it after his name instead of before like normal just to mix it up a bit. this is known as a literary device. the story is about all the people who stab Julie, so much so that a lot of the dialogue is in the form "You too (some guys' name)? and everyone understands it's about the stabbing.

another one about a King again: different king, story about the same

one about a bitchy woman and the man who fucked her quiet: starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton who were bigtime stars back then

some others about random shit that didn't really happen a long time ago: they blow chunks if you don't like plays much to begin with

some New Hampshire voters still undecided

2012-01-10T15:43:00.001-08:00

making lemonade

2012-01-10T15:06:00.000-08:00

"I like being able to fire people..."

will end up being a net positive for the Romney campaign. the next time he says it he'll just add "..like Obama. I want to fire Obama." there will be a run on big spoons, with Republicans so eager to eat it up. I figure Mitten's people are smart enough to see that running away from the quote is a loser's game.

2012-01-10T05:57:00.000-08:00

dogs woke me this morning with extra love
put on much clothing, a hat over my sleep messy hair
out into the big beautiful world
for what dogs say is the most fabulous thing ever
a walk

just in time to see a sliver of glowing, growing in the southeast
and opposite, the monster moon giving up the morning sky
we watched the cosmic shift change
then back in the warm house
happy dogs get food, happy me gets coffee

2012-01-09T17:59:00.001-08:00

2012-01-09T16:37:00.000-08:00

if you haven't done it lately
Now is a good time to clean or replace
your car's air filter
it's probably dirtier than you think
mine was

2012-01-09T11:29:00.000-08:00

Todd Palin succumbs to Newt's patented 'Burst & Touch' technique. but not Sarah

missing white woman with sexy sexy Sex angle. republicans would be smart to postpone their primaries until this is resolved

Mitt Romney plans to campaign without pants until everybody stops asking him about Bain Capital

what the Fuck Gnoot, 'making bank by increasing misery' is practically the Republican motto. apologize to Mister Mittens Now! -Club for Making Rich Republicans Richer

caption needed

2012-01-08T18:00:00.000-08:00