Romney not impressed by Huckabee's gastronomical achievements

"Grasping a freshly killed pheasant and hoisting a shotgun over his shoulder, Mike Huckabee on Wednesday invited reporters to witness what has become one of the standard motifs of Republican presidential politics: the candidate out hunting, like a regular guy." "But the undertone was clear: Huckabee was casting himself as an authentic sportsman, unlike chief rival Mitt Romney, who last spring had claimed to be an avid hunter before admitting that he had preyed mostly on "small varmints" -- and infrequently at that." - Peter Wallsten and Seema Mehta, LA Times "Oh boy, it's another regular guy piece," said former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, shaking his head in bewilderment as he read the Huckabee profile in the LA Times. "This stuff really turns my stomach. So the Huckster killed himself a pheasant, so what? I hire people to do that for me so that I don't get frostbite. Which one of us would you say is the smarter? Huh. Anybody that's impressed by that sort of stagecraft is really not someone who's vote I'm interested in. I want a constituency with a little class." It was the next two paragraphs of the story that 'really got my goat', claimed Romney. "You read this and ask yourself, what kind of a freak would vote for a man like Huckabee." "In fact, Huckabee said, not only had he hunted varmints himself -- in addition to deer, ducks, antelopes and, now, pheasants -- but he also was an experienced varmint-eater, having downed his share of fried squirrel, biscuits and Coke as a college student." "I figured out you could put grease in a popcorn popper and heat that thing up, and you could cook anything," he said in an interview. "So we fried squirrel." "Fried squirrel, well isn't that special? What a load of nonsense," Romney muttered, pulling a dead squirrel from his briefcase and slamming it flat with a slab of wood. "Here you go, Huck, dinner's ready. Sorry, I know you prefer it skinned and cooked in a popcorn popper, but Eule Gibbons says it taste better au naturale on a nice slice of Pine. Mmm mmm, come and get it, times a wastin', hillbilly. Come on and eat it like a regular guy, you goofball bubba. Jeez, what a geek."